The Risks We Take, Are the Futures We Make

Four years ago today, I proved to myself that I could be really freaking brave. By all accounts I was brave, but on things like, Jumping-over, and, climbing through/between people and fences to go backstage at rock shows (I think being underage, I felt safe…and they thought I was younger than I was anyway). But on matters of the heart? NOPE! Uh-uh! Kiss off!

A resounding NO!!!! But starting in October of 2008, I had been on a steady path of upwards momentum from a pit of depression, to an improved version of myself. One that I like, and that had a better job and was attempting to move on towards “grown-up”ness…or something. Anyway, I already had liked Reggie, albeit didn’t pine for him before because I agree with RuPaul: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love someone else?” and so I ran. I ran a lot.

And then, my brother left for the Air Force, but on January 17 my brother had a going away party. His friends were there, and more importantly: Reg was! There are mixed remembrances of that night, but everyone said there was some sort of connecion. Maybe it was my hopeful thinking, and I reverse-empathed it onto everyone else. Maybe I was staring him down…who. Knows.

Anyway, I knew that night what I would do that year. This is a recap from a Journal Entry dated Feb. 6, 2009 @0802 PST, the day after I called to ask him out. (I like dates…I like to archive…IDK why) ‘As Amanda said last night: "Joie slams revolving doors" This is in reference to my bravery for yesterday. But I digress, during the last half hour of work I started to get anxious and impatient. I slept on the car ride home, literally "sleeping on it". My dad dropped me off at home and I had the house to myself. I dialed his [Reggie's] number, with a speech totally planned. Here's where things get interesting. When I called I was like “If you have time wanna do me a favor, and, go somewhere with me Saturday?” I had this whole plan about I needed to get something for Charlie [many brother] for his birthday. Instead he cut to the quick, and said "are you asking me out?" I -being blunt- said "yeah...I guess I am." So he said sure. We will be going out on Saturday. And thus, I have "balls" bigger than Chuck Norris

I felt very giddy, and nervous. But really proud of myself. I had never done anything like this before…well, if you don’t count when I asked Mike Dirnt from Green Day to marry me when I was 18…but I don’t…LOL! Mainly, because now—even though 2009 was a very roller-coaster like year—I would NEVER trade my husband for ANYONE!

I am so blessed to married to him. So here is to us, and some “balls-out” bravery! Cheers!  


  1. Depression is a kept me trapped for a long time...but I knwo you can move upwards and out and find sunny days and leave it behind!! Thank you for your sweet comment doll...I appreciate it! Those are the posts that I hope people will get the most out of..the others are just fun...but ones like that one is more important!! xx

    1. Thank you!
      No problem! Your blog is always so positive. I feel bad cause I am not one of those people in a way. But I REALLY admire that in others!

      Thank you for your kind words!

  2. OMG!!!! I am completely obsessed with this! everything is just so perfect.

    Yum Diaries, a Food Blog


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